The Beginning

I applied for a mission position with OMF in Singapore/Cambodia. I somehow want to keep track of my thought during this process. This is the email I wrote to my partner partners at the very beginning.


The whole thing started off with me surfing for short term mission opportunity in Cambodia and came across a posting looking for personnel to work on an IT project in Singapore/Cambodia. Ever since I went to Cambodia two years ago, I always want to go back to help the people there. And it is a ministry that require what I do for living. I can hear God's calling so loudly that I immediately email OMF. I had an interview with their project manager in Singapore and also their National director last week. Even though I blew my interview on the technical part :P, both of them told OMF to proceed my application to the next step. So here I am, filling a bunch of forms :(

When I first saw the position, I was pretty excited. But this week reality sinks in, with all the logistics problem, I became very scared. The most scary part is I have to leave my job and not able to have an income for the period during mission. That idea freak me out. With mortgage I have and being the financial support for my family, the more I think about it, the more I lost in the idea why I would even want to move. No matter how many times I told myself that I have to trust God will provide. It is just a step of faith I have to commit. And if I know it is a calling, why it is so hard to trust God. Why when I told my congregation to not let money stop them from going on mission, it burden me so much. The more I think about it, the more scared I am.

Then my parents called me on Thursday. Their acceptance on the idea is actually the scariest of all things. I have been delaying to tell them until I passed the first step. My mom first wanted to make sure everything is okay with me. Then she said if it is something I want to do, go ahead and do it. Don't let them stop me. You can't imagine how touched and encouraged I was when I heard that. My family isn't rich and with me leaving and not working for 1-2 years, we really need to juggle thing around. And my parents are non Christian and I can't expect them to understand. But they support me anyway. I am truly encouraged by them and pick up my courage to keep going in my process.