While driving to work today, I was listening to the program Turning Point on radio. The pastor said when you were angry with a person, you got chained to the person. You became slave to the person. You can't get away from the person. You don't have a waking moment that you are not thinking of this person. That saying actually has touched my heart. That is so true. I understand every bit of that bitterness. I tried to push those out of my mind but it seems I am more attached to it. The burden, the uneasiness, I just can't get it out. The pastor also said how to reconcile our anger. Don't come to worship till you find the person and get things right. You worship with love in your heart and not hatred. My first reaction is that I shouldn't go to worship anymore, I guess cause I don't know if I can do it. I did think about may be talking to the person before but how on earth I supposed to bring it up. I thought about writing an email too, but all I can think of is to write down what I am angry about. What would the other person think about getting my accusing email? I may as well leave things as is. I was never a confronting person. I don't know how to face people and talk things out. A friend talked about her experience the other day that she prayed to lift the bitterness from her heart and she could feel that it is gone that instant. I did pray for awhile on that already and how come my burden still here? Did I not pray enough? Or my heart already harden so much that I can't find peace on this anymore?
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Anger
While driving to work today, I was listening to the program Turning Point on radio. The pastor said when you were angry with a person, you got chained to the person. You became slave to the person. You can't get away from the person. You don't have a waking moment that you are not thinking of this person. That saying actually has touched my heart. That is so true. I understand every bit of that bitterness. I tried to push those out of my mind but it seems I am more attached to it. The burden, the uneasiness, I just can't get it out. The pastor also said how to reconcile our anger. Don't come to worship till you find the person and get things right. You worship with love in your heart and not hatred. My first reaction is that I shouldn't go to worship anymore, I guess cause I don't know if I can do it. I did think about may be talking to the person before but how on earth I supposed to bring it up. I thought about writing an email too, but all I can think of is to write down what I am angry about. What would the other person think about getting my accusing email? I may as well leave things as is. I was never a confronting person. I don't know how to face people and talk things out. A friend talked about her experience the other day that she prayed to lift the bitterness from her heart and she could feel that it is gone that instant. I did pray for awhile on that already and how come my burden still here? Did I not pray enough? Or my heart already harden so much that I can't find peace on this anymore?
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2 comments:
That reminds me of the advice that says you should never go to bed mad at your spouse. That doesn't always work, because it is oversimplified.
Besides, I get cranky when I'm tired. If I can't go to bed because I'm mad, it's only going to get worse.
viv, it's okay. you don't need to be mad at me anymore.
and neil young has much better advice if you can find him on the radio.
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