Alzheimer's?!

I was originally going to write about my customer meeting experience. But a friend sent me something very weird today. He sent me a link to a website which contained a bio of me.

When Vivian is awake she is a Software Developer , surfing the net, playing badminton or trying her hand at squash. When she is not awake, she is asleep. (her words, seriously :)) Viv recently graduated from the Computer Science course at UBC and is working with the Easy Course Team here at WebCT.

While I think it is very funny, I had no idea who wrote this. The description sounded like it dated way back when I first started in WebCT. But I don't know people I worked with that well that they would make fun of me. My friend swore I wrote this myself. Someone in Support or QA compiled a list of bio together and it was definitely written by me. I really don't recall a thing. Must be old age.

Itchy Nose

My nose can tell you that spring has finally arrived cause I have been sneezing alot lately. After moving to Canada for 18 years, I finally got pollen allergy. A lot of people said that you will get pollen allergy after moving to Canada for more than 10 years. I thought I got lucky cause I never had much problem. I got tiny reaction from grass and plant, but that usually is problem when fall comes. And sometimes I sneeze in the morning abit but that is. The worst time was my arm swollen to double its size after camping trip and a week before attending a wedding. That time totally freaked me out and luckily it got back to normal size before my friend's wedding. I guess I finally use up my luck this year. Starting last week, I have been sneezing a lot, days and nights. I guess I still can't complain much since sneezing is the only symptom I got from my allergy. But I sneezed so often that I started to wonder if I got a cold or allergy. If I got a cold, at least I can call in sick. But now I still have to drag my dead body to work. Errrrrr.....stooopid allergy!

Couch Potato

It is very rare that I actually get to stay home on a Thursday cause I usually have fellowship. Since this week's fellowship gathering moved to Friday, I suddenly have a free night. So I decided to stay home and be a couch potato. I finally got a chance to watch the game show "Are you smarter than a 5th grader". It is actually not as exciting as I thought. Yes, some of the questions are pretty hard. I have to think twice about east hemisphere and I got the description of density wrong. But some of those questions are just plain easy. I can't believe the questions that both contestants walk out is sooooo dumb. The second lady walked out on the question which continent is also a country. Her answer was going to be "all" but she decided to take the money instead. I was like, you got to be kidding me!! But I guess it could be the pressure under spotlight too. And the host kept asking if you want to walk out with the money you have now would make you think twice if you got it correct. I guess I am a bit disappointed because it wasn't as intense as other game show, says "Who want to be a millionaire". In the end, it wasn't a bad show.

On a side note, I was looking for all the questions asked from previous episode. I run into someone's blog and I can't believe someone actually blog everything he watched. That is a real couch potato!

300

After I bailed out on my friend on Sunday, I decided to watch it with other friends last night. I wasn't totally interested in this movie at first, but enough people hype about it so I figure it doesn't hurt to watch. Turned out it wasn't too bad. Yes there is lots of killing and blood and simple plot. But it entertained me enough that I didn't fall asleep or kept looking at my watch (I think I am going to use this as a standard how entertained a movie is for me from now on). It wasn't as violent as I expected. True there is killing and chopping head and blood flying everywhere. And there is scene I did close my eyes. But I didn't walk out half way to get fresh air like I did for Saving Private Ryan. So to me, this is all good. One thing I would warn people planning to watch it. If you easily get annoyed by people talking beside you in a movie, don't go watch it with girls whose main purpose was watching half naked guys. My friends were giggling beside me the whole time and I knew what they were giggling about. :)

Miss You All

My ex-manager took short term leave last while and came back to work recently. I chatted with him for awhile today. Even though I complained alot when I worked in my old company, I do really like the people I work with. They are all good people. A lot of people said it is hard to make friends at work. I guess I am lucky in that sense. I made lots of good friends. I do miss working with my manager. Partly because we worked together for too long. During those X number of years I worked in WebCT, he was my manager most of the time. He is a very good guy. And a caring boss. We chatted for awhile today to update each other. It was always good to talk to him. Another thing people found they missed after leaving is the process in WebCT. I was quite surprised to hear that. I always thought it was chaotic. May be I was there in the very beginning so I can't see what we add on later is setting up a process. A lot of ex-WebCT people said that. I can't really tell myself cause my current company is mainly made up of my ex-coworkers. So it is more or less the same for me still. I guess we did have a good company. Too bad it is too short.

Prayer

A friend sent me a blog that is written by his friend. It is a collection of email/prayer requests that he sent during his mother fighting cancer, from she first diagnosed with cancer, till she passed away. My friend bet I would cry reading the blog cause last time when I was watching a video of our old instructor, I cried like crazy. But it was different back then. I know my instructor pretty well and this time I don't know the person or his mom. But the blog does bring back a lot of memory of what happen to my mom. Luckily, my mom won the battle. I am amazed how organized he was on prayer item. I don't even know how to get my fellowship to pray for me back then. I remembered my fellowship had a prayer meeting for me and my pastor asked how to pray for me. I actually wasn't sure what to pray for. I was mad, confused and lost. I totally understood when he mentioned the pain watching his mom suffer and the helplessness he felt. And the confusion with the doctor and surgeon, my family went thru the same thing. Luckily for my family, the battle wasn't long. It was quick and short. Even it was only several weeks, it was very tiring for my mom and my family. I still remember how scary it was to wait for my mom to do her test after a year. I didn't know till last minute that she had a test that day. Since I was unemployed then, I figured I would drive her. I don't know if my mom was scared at all, but I know while I was in the waiting room, it totally freaked me out. I keep praying and shaking. The scary part of cancer is you never know whether it would come back or not. And I was so relieved my mom is clear now. My eyes did fill with tear when I read that he sang "Amazing Grace" while his mom passed away. I am truly touched. I am totally amazed how he can still stay faithful thru all these. After my mom's surgery, my friends ask would I blame God if anything bad happen. I said I have no answer. I really don't know.

Sponsor

Reading from a friend's blog that her husband and her had a discussion about what would happen if their daughter wanted to move out with some guy when she is 18. The funny thing is this "daughter" is currently still in the mommy's stomach (the due date isn't anytime soon :P) This remind me another conversation my friend and I had. There was a sermon that the guest pastor said every couple needs to have 2.5 kids to replace the population. The two is to replace the couple, the 0.5 is for those people not getting married or having kids. Immediately after that sermon, several of us told the married/soon-to-be-married people to have more kids to replace us. One of my friend mentioned about starting a sponsorship program. Since this kid is to replace me, I have to pay for everything. I said only if I can teach the kid in whatever way I want and I would teach the kid to be so rebellious that would stress my friend's fiance out. Since my friend's fiance is actually those "do-gooder" type of guy, I said if it is a daughter, I would train her to go party every night and come home with different guy to piss my friend's fiance off. And if it is a son, then he would bring home different girl every night. My friend's fiance would have to screen all the call, be paranoid about everyone around the kid and stalk him/her. Another friend of mine would teach the kid to only buy brand names. The sponsored kids would become a nightmare for my friend and her fiance. My friend is actually pretty excited about it and said then her fiance would have to beg her to quit the job and stay home to take care of the kids. What kind of mother is that!

The Lost Tomb of Jesus

I am not sure how many of you watched The Lost Tomb of Jesus last night. If not and you are still interested, I know they are playing again this week. I actually find it quite entertaining, at least for the first hour or so. I can't believe someone draw a conclusion based on assumptions. The whole show is not trying to prove this is the tomb of Jesus. It is more like let's assume this is Jesus' tomb, and then see how all the 'facts' come in together and ignore other fact that doesn't fit in the Jesus profile. I actually found the most funny part is from the DNA test. They did a DNA test on bone sample from the tomb of Jesus and Mariamne (whom the director claimed to be Mary Magdalen) The lab concluded that the two sample are not blood related so they probably were married. I was like...hahahahaa..what sort of stupid conclusion is that. You can't use DNA test to prove the marital relationship. So where does that come from?! I actually found this show gave me even less doubt than Da Vinci's code. At least Dan Brown's novel brought out some good point for discussion. Anyway, here are more links on what others said about the show:
Toronto Star
Washington Post

Unashamed

I was watching a show on TV tonight called "The Collector". It is a show about a soul-collector who works for the devil. But he made a deal with the devil so he can try to help his "clients" to make amends during their last 48 hours on earth. This episode is about the main character trying to save a priest who is a very successful exorcist. He was successful because he made a deal with the devil back then. He sold his soul to the devil so he could preform exorcism successfully. Very ironic, huh? What touched me the most was in the end, when that priest can't perform the exorcism because of his own past. The junior priest ran in to help him. The devil mocked the junior priest for even dare to come over because he was just sexual tempted by a woman. The priest answered that he may be weak and he was not worthy to call for God's help, but as long as he has faith, God would not forsake him. It was from God's grace that He answered. What the junior priest said was so true. I kept sinning against God even I despise myself. But yet He is always here and opened His arm to take me back. How could He do that before even knowing me? I was so touched and started crying. This song lyric suddenly come so clear in my mind.

And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed
- Unashamed, Starfield

Type A Personality

I was talking about type A personality with my friend the other day. If there is anything that God wants to teach me from my last job, I think it is patient. My previous job was very stressful and constantly pressure by customer support to give them an answer. Basically, if customer pressured support for an answer, their manager pressure me, and I go to bug developers. But everybody hate being micromanage, especially my team. They hate being asked every hour for an update. And I worked with them for so long that I know I have to stand back and let them do their work or they would be pissed. I thought I learnt enough to be more relaxed and not micromanage and stop being a control freak, but apparently I am not. When there was still no email sent about plan for this Friday fellowship from the teens, I started to get very tense. We wanted to encourage to teens in the fellowship by giving them more responsibility. But when I heard nothing still on Wednesday, I got pretty stressed out. I don't know what is going on. The other organizer sent an email to the teens in my group and cc'd me in and I never saw a reply from them. I don't know if they were actually doing anything. I was very tempted to take things in my own hand but I know I shouldn't. I have forced myself to just sit and wait. Finally an email was sent on Thursday night but didn't give much detail. That is okay. At least it is a start. I found out later today that apparently all the organizers have been talking to each other. It was just me who know nothing about. I felt relieved and glad that the teens were responsible. And I felt upset about my attitude. I was so impatient and quick to judge. I still have so much to learn for being patient and trusting people.

In Remembrance of Ed

I went to my ex-co worker's funeral today. It was okay, a bit shorter than I expected. But it was fine. Someone did a short summary of Ed and that is. From the speech, I found out that I really never knew Ed. I mean I never knew he is so smart. He skipped kindergarten and went to Grade 1 directly. He went to IB course and then got accepted in Harvard and Yale. But he loved his parents so much that he decided to stay in Vancouver instead. I didn't know that his birthday coming up and he is 2 years younger than me. I didn't know he has 2 older sisters. I just found out that I didn't know alot of thing about him from that little short summary of him. I was surprised the funeral is western style. To me, it was kind of relieved. I really don't like Chinese Buddhist style cause I felt that somehow I felt more devastating in that. Everybody cried loudly. It just had a stronger sense of desperation. Western style gave me more sense of peace and quiet. However, it was open casket. I always find it feel more sad when it was open casket. The person you knew who laughed with you and chatted with you before now whose body just lied there. I don't like that feeling. During the whole memorial service, I can't stop thinking what would happen if it was me. My friend once said she wonder how many people would go to her funeral. I don't know how many people would come. But I don't know if it matters when the person left. I like how main character in the book Tuesdays with Morrie narrator had his funeral BEFORE he died. He said why wait until you can't hear the nice thing the other people talk about you. It sound so wise. But in the end, I do want my friends to be there, in remembrance of me. Another friend and I promised will go to each other's funeral if we still alive. I hope we are still friends then.

A Week of Unfortunate Events

I can't believe I haven't posted for almost half year. I have been lazy, very lazy. A lot of things happened lately and last week was all about sad news one after another. Someone I worked with passed away last week. I thought it was a joke when I first heard that. Asking everybody that may know to confirm and eventually someone did. His dad tried to wake him up and found him dead. Probably having some heart defect that not know of. Even to this day, I still find the whole news unreal. How could a person my age that just passed away like this? I just got his Linkin request last week. He just started a job. What sadden me the most is his dad was the person who discovered his body. I can't imagine how it feel for a parent. It must feel devastated. And it seemed like bad things all come together. My friend's grandma passed away the day before my coworker. I don't know her personally so I don't have much to say. But it makes me think back to my grandma's funeral. That little lady who took care of us, who constant nagged us, who got sick for so long finally left us. I never saw my dad cried before till at her funeral. Now come to think about, I don't know if he cried when we found out about my mom got cancer last year. He looked very calm the whole time. I was so scared when I went with my mom to do a follow up check this year. I have to keep praying while waiting for her and felt so relieved when she told me she was fine. Cause you never know what could happen. My friend's mom's cancer came back again and this time it is aggressive. I knew how helpless my friend would feel. How you see your mom going thru some very painful procedure and you can do nothing. Nothing but pray. Even praying was scary too, cause you don't know what God's plan is and you just have to trust Him. Trust that His plan is good.

Washington, DC

I gave my official no about relocating to Washington, DC today. If you haven't heard about it yet, my company decided to close down Vancouver office, or at least shrink it to a size of ~30 people. Most people are given the chance to relocate to Washington, DC where our head office is or become jobless after certain date. Before we need to make the decision, my company flew us all over for a scouting trip. Hence two weeks ago, I was in Washington DC. I got to see the head office and meet my new teammates and new manager. I wasn't really planning to move before I went on the trip. But after the talk with the manager, it sound like very exciting opportunity. My responsibility will be much bigger and I may even have a chance to go to Beijing. So I was all exciting and ready to move there. Of course there is concern about my friends and family, but the opportunity sound too good to pass. After I gave more thought to it, I finally decide to stay in Vancouver and look for another job instead. I know this is a good career advancement, but then I don't want work to take part more in my life than it already has. With this new job, I can foresee that I would spend even more time working than I already am. It would be very stressful and time-consuming. I remember sitting in for my manager while he is on vacation almost kill me. I am not sure I am ready to handle that with no foreseeable end date. And all my friends and family are here. I know I could always make new friends. But do I really want to work all day and go home with no one I can talk to and hang out with. I feel so sad just imagining that. I may end up crying every night. And my parents will be all alone in Vancouver. We have no relatives and my brother is in Hong Kong. Even though I don't live with them, I feel more comfortable just be in Vancouver in case they need me. Moreover, I am more involved with my church next year. I am helping out in the teen fellowship next year. Also, during the Panama trip, my pastor talked about his vision on our church and the English ministry. There is a lot of exciting changes and I know I want to be part of it. So, I decided Vancouver is where I want to be at this moment. So, sorry people if you have been waiting for me to leave. May be some other times. :P

Panama

Due to a lot hatred comment on my blog for absent of posting, I figure I should write something about my first missionary trip. Looking from the pictures, we looked like we are staying in luxury hotel and just having fun and we were. It is not the usual mission trip that people have in mind, like going into remote places and helping them to improve living environment. It is none of that. This trip is to help out in an English camp and most of the kids who came are sort of well off cause the camp is kind of expensive to their living standard. But we didn't get to just sit around and have fun. In fact, the camp is so unorganized that makes a lot of us very frustrated and stressed. Things keep changing last minute. And it was very draining mentally too cause we have to be with our kids 24/7. And yet, I think the experience touched each and every one of us in different way. I never experience lives or see lives this way before. May be some of the kids' families are pretty well off, but it is not like they got spoiled and just sat around do nothing. I am the spoiled one. A lot of them have to help in family business when they get off school. One of my girls spent all her free time working. She doesn't get to hang out with friends at all. The camp is her only social life. A lot of them have more burden than I ever see. Broken relationship, death, threat. One of the girl's bf die when she was in the camp. And a lot of the kids actually know him too. Another girl got stalked by her gangster ex-bf in the camp and he threaten to kill one of the girl in my class. Some of them got mislead to work in Panama and thinking that they are going to the state. Now they have to work to pay off the debt for sponsoring them over. To them, coming to Canada/US is a paradise. A lot of them are just looking for love and friendship in the camp which they don't find in their own home. They experienced way more than I ever when I was 16. It is not something we watch from TV. It is life that I never see before. They sadden me. At first I was very nervous to meet them cause I never work with kids before. And the fact that you have to bond with them and get them open up seem like an impossible job. I am very glad things work out. I met a lot of friends, though they are way way younger than me. I enjoyed their company a lot and they would really open up to you. I also met good friends from the short mission members too, despite they keep picking on me. I also get to know people from my church better. I never hang out with the younger group. Through this trip, I am glad I get to know more of them. Last but not least, I have never been this focus on God before. This trip really help me focus and experience His presence. I know I always say serving Him, but I know deep down I basically take up the job because nobody feel like doing it. It is a job focus, not God focus. But this trip, really help me to put the perspective on Him and see how His work is done. I know He touched each and every one of us in different way. There was a calling during the call for full time ministry. I did sign for that. I didn't know it was full time ministry till later. I was a bit scared of what I got myself into. But now I know if that is what my calling for and thru me, God can do His work. I am willing to take up the work. This was a very meaningful trip for me and I sure hope someday I could be back.

Wine Tasting

I can't believe last time I updated my blog was a month ago. Anyway, I went to a wine release party with my friends tonight. It is hosted by the Naramata Bench. My friends and I went to Naramata last year and we had lots of fun. When we heard about the wineries are hosting a party, we decided to get ticket together. It was a party with food, wine and fashion show. Some of the very famous restaurants have a booth there. Eg. C, Lumiere, Cin Cin. It is not a full course meal though. Each of them served a dish of hors d'overs. There is lamb, foie gras brulée, cheese, duck pate, duck breast and even suckling pig. It is pretty yummy. And there sure is a lot of wines for tasting. I tried couple of them but didn't try it all cause I need to drive home still. I had a good pear wine from Spiller Estate. I even like it better than the Elephant Island (a winery I spent a lot of money on last year). I don't really like the red that I tried though. Usually the BC red wine has a very young red taste that I don't like. I didn't pay much attention to the fashion show. I was too busy lining up for the suckling pig then :P. We end the evening with fries and frosty from Wendy's. It was a pretty fun evening though the food went out too soon. Next time, I am definitely eating all the food before any tasting.

Cherry Blossoms

When I was leaving work today, I saw the cherry blossoms bloomed along Marine Drive. I was so excited. I am not a huge fan of cherry blossoms, but it sure is beautiful. And it also meant spring will be coming soon (and I am a big fan of warm weather!) despite the horrible weather last two days (snowing in March! If it is in June, Chinese would say there must be an innocent person put on trial.) Then I remember I didn't see it on my way driving to work this morning. Do they just bloom all a sudden in an afternoon? I don't remember what I saw at all this morning. It was snowing heavily. And cherry blossoms are supposed to bloom in warm weather. So it was weird that they bloomed after a morning of snow and just an afternoon of sunshine. But I don't like the idea of me driving and not remember a thing along the way more. So I stick with the idea that it just happen secretly while I worked hard at work. On a side note, my friend is going to take her pre-wedding photo while cherry blossoms bloomed. (Chinese would go to a studio to take posed photo, indoor and outdoor, wearing wedding gowns before the actual wedding and show the pictures during wedding banquet.) I was very happy when I remembered that today. She really really hate being cold. And cherry blossoms bloomed while it is still snowing mean that she will be taking photo (hehehe..those wedding gowns are not particular warm) in extremely cold weather. Boy, I can see her smiling happily in those photo. Wahahaha!

Deep Thinking

I should stop skipping work, I think. Seem like everytime I took days off, I came back with a 2 hour meeting waiting. That happen last Friday and today. They even make the meeting more "exciting" by scheduling it during lunch time. And no one knows if we are getting fed or not. I think people don't remember if you try to lure people into meeting, especial during lunch time, you have to prepare food. I was planning to order pizza anyway if we don't get fed in the meeting. I don't want to walk out to grab lunch in this crappy weather. Anyway, as much "fun" as the meeting is, I actually surprisingly didn't fall asleep. I felt sorry for napping last Friday cause it was vaguely interesting meeting, but you can't escape food coma. But today, I was pretty impressed with myself. May be I was too concentrated on the thought that when would I get fed. Of course I got bored. I was a bit upset that I don't have any document to read or I would have make the time more useful. Without anything to do, I start turning around and looking at people. It entertained me quite a bit. A friend who I know always fell asleep in meeting actually pretty awake, though looked bored. But I saw another friend closed his eyes (though he claimed later that he was just closing the eyes and resting). A lot of people in the 'deep thinking' mode. Another friend actually stood up and then sat down again in the middle of meeting and we all thought he made an effort to leave but failed. Turned out he wanted to ask questions. I was so mad he asked question (cause he lengthened the meeting) and actually yelled his name out quietly (hopefully not much people can hear that :P). I spent most of the second half meeting stared at people and I ended up pretty awake when it ended. Next time at company meeting, I am definitely doing the same thing!

Operation

I don't remember when is the last time I went to a hospital, probably when my grandma did her heart surgery, which was long time ago. We went to the hospital today because my mom is having an operation. All I have to say is that TV deceived us all. I didn't even get to see the surgeon today. Well, we met her and talked to her several times before in her office. But today, no sign of her. Well, at least down in the waiting area. My mom did see her when she went to the operation room. But in TV show, you always see the relatives waiting outside the operation room, waiting for that "operation in progress" light to turn off, then they run up to the surgeon and ask. The surgeon will say 'congratulation, the surgery went well' or 'sorry, we try our best', saying of that sort. But nothing today! My dad and I sat in the waiting room the whole times, just waiting. Only people we saw today were nurses. They told us when the surgery starts and around when my mom would come back. And if we want to leave, they can call my cell phone when she is back. That is. No staring at the light anxiously. No doctor coming right out from the operation room saying anything. When they pushed my mom back to the ward, the nurse just told us how to take care of her wound next while. So when people asked me how it goes, I can only say, "I think it went well, I think." Never trust TV! They lie!

Tick Tock

First thing I am not used staying over at my parents' is my brother's stupid clock. I forgot that I am not used to having a clock besides me. So the whole night I could hear its 'tick tock'-ing besides me. It drove me mad! To make it worse, my mom gave me another one because the one my brother had doesn't ring anymore. So I have two alarm clock and they don't even 'tick tock' simultaneously. So I don't even have a pattern to get used to sleep. I was so mad that the whole night I kept reminding myself I have to bring my radio clock over. I don't think I have much sleep last night. So I brought my radio clock and my parents' has the weirdest radio reception. If I put the radio clock higher, it receives a different station than if I put it lower. Sort of like how those old cell phone, you have to jump up and down, bend your knee, hide in a corner to get good reception. I finally find a spot that it received the station I am used to wake up from. It is sort of hanging over the bedframe. That is the only spot that I can find close enough to the bed and have reception. Now I feel more settle down.

Moved (again)

Moved back to my parents' today. That is right. I am needed at my parents' so I moved back temporarily, probably for a month or so. I actually end up packing more stuff than I expected. I have a duffel bag, two backpacks and some paper bags. I didn't bring that much clothes. I just had lots of junks with me, my laptop, my cleansing products, my books, my DVD's, my climbing gears (hehe...you have to be prepared for everything), my gym clothes, my cooking class material, etc. After I packed and moved everything out of my place, I started doing some major cleaning (partly because I was making tart yesterday and made a mess of my place). I wasn't sure if I should do the cleaning when I get back, or clean now and gets dusty again in a month. But I really can't stand the stickiness on the floor and the buttery smell in the air. After I finished cleaning, all I really want to sit and enjoy. But I have to move my stuff now. I felt so sad leaving my place I almost cried when I left. I know my house must feel lonely by itself. Now moving back to parents is definitely interesting. I haven't lived with my parents for two years now. It would definitely need some adjusting. One thing I notice right away it is definitely colder than my place. I was hiding under my blanket the whole night while playing my laptop. And the drive to work, that is going to suck! Definitely a lot of adjustment.