Haunted

Just when you thought you let go of something and it is all in the past now, it came back and haunt you in your dream. People said dreaming is your subconscious. I wonder if that mean that I never really learn to forgive and forget the whole incident. The piece of memory surfaced in my dream one night. I re-lived the whole incident, the lies, the betrayal. I woke up feeling all painful and hurt and bitter. I feel like I went thru everything again. I thought I put everything behind me. If I still felt like that after my dream, may be I never let go of anything. I just hide it under my consciousness. So during the day, I can't feel a thing about it anymore. I emotionally block that out. But subconsciously, the scar would always be there. It just wait for me being vulnerable and unprepared and haunted me again. I wonder if I would ever learn to forgive...truly forgive. May be my heart is harden and I would never able to. Or until I forget then I would forgive. My mind always selectively forget things. May be I could forget that incident somehow. But if I keep thinking about it from time to time, I think that piece of memory will always stick with me. Why didn't it attack me when I slept! When I thought I was over it! Urgh!