My Way

I was telling my friend that ever since I became a Christian, everything seems so much harder. There is way more self judgment and struggle than before. My life seems so much simpler when I follow my own way. I never know I have so much fault in me and I have so much to work on. I feel as if I am constrained into a box and not able to move and not able to breath. I never consider myself a judgmental person until now. And now whenever I start judging people, I have to constantly remind myself that I shouldn't do that. I am not any better than the other person. I do the very same way as they do. And I feel tired and exhausted. Do I really have courage to finish the whole journey? I am not sure I would be brave enough to not walk away. The easy way is always so tempting. Why do I have to try so hard?

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me. (Psalm 138:7)

If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. (1 John 1:5-8)