Overwhelmed

I almost never cry in public, except in funeral. I don't think I cry in front of my friends much either. But today at the end of the sermon, I broke down and started crying. My brother left yesterday but I didn't feel much. My mom called me last night and cried in the phone because she was upset. I talked to her for short while as soon as she found out that I was with friends and she hung up. I wasn't sad about my brother left at all last night. I was still chatting and laughing with my friends. When my pastor talked about mother's day and how we should appreciate our mothers, it finally hit me that my brother won't be with us for mother's day. And he won't be there for our usual Sunday family dinner. And I realize I really miss him. I lost my control and start crying close to the end. I usually cry when I was alone. And today, I didn't expect myself crying, not in public at least. Well, I did prepare and brought tissue with. And I am glad I did or I would be a mess. My friends from church emailed me or called me in the afternoon make sure I am still okay. I feel so touched by their sensitivity. And I thought back and I felt bad that I wasn't there when my friend's brother left for Hong Kong. I know they are close and I am not sure I was there enough for her when she was upset. Guess I should care about people around me more.