I swore I will never go backpacking camping ever again! It seem like everytime I plan to go backpacking with my friends, I ended up injuring my ankle. I successfully rolled my ankle tonight at ultimate, right before the weekend I am going camping. I collided with a guy and fell on the ground and rolled my ankle. Urgh! Stupid aggressive beginner! But he is kind of cute, Matthew McConaughey kind of cute, and NO! I wasn't busy looking at him and collided with him!!!
I was seriously playing and he ran into me! And it has to be my bad ankle. It was worse than last time! Last time when I hurt myself, it wasn't that painful to begin with. And I thought I could keep playing. But this time, I can't feel a thing when I rolled it. Then the pain was so sharp that I can't stand it.
I had to move to the sideline. The whole night I was out. What makes me more mad is that I bought a higher ankle cleats recently to protect my ankle. But it is a bit tight. So tonight, I wore it, thought that I don't want to bruise up my toes more and changed back to my old low ankle cleats!!
Everyone was worried about me driving home and all I can think is I can't play this whole week, at the very least. Even though I can't turn my right ankle between gas pedal and brake, I am an experienced broken ankle driver and I know I could use my whole leg to do so.
When I bought my car last year, I was planning to get a manual cause it felt cooler. When I told a friend that, he reminded me how often I hurt myself and it is better to get an automatic.
It is good that I choose to get automatic in the end.
PS. A friend said may be it was God not letting me skipped 3 weeks of church in a row. So I can't go to camping anymore with the injury. But...but...He could have hurt me on Thursday. So at least I could play for my team.
Most of you should know what an aquarium is. What about a manager aquarium? I bet most of you never seen one before. Today, I saw one. It is like the best reality show you can find. It started with my manager was having meeting with two other managers. Since I sat right outside his room and I am a big whiner 
, I complained that they were too noisy and closed the door for them. When they were done and tried to open the door, it stuck! You could turn the handle but the door just couldn't be opened!! 
I tried to help them pushing the door but it just wouldn't move. My manager's room has a huge window beside the door. So they looked like they are in a display window, looking helpless. And of course being nice person, my friend immediately called downstairs to tell other people to come and watch. 
The funniest part is that one of the managers that got locked inside tried to lock my manager in yesterday. It was after one meeting too. When he opened the door, the handle from inside came off. He "thought" about it, lock the door, took the handle off completely and walked out and closed the door with my manager inside. He gave me the key and handle. Best part is that he never tested the key and see if it worked before locking the door. And when I tried to unlock it for manager, it was stuck for a bit. So today when he got locked in there as well, it was such a big irony! Well, at least they provided a good Friday afternoon entertainment. 
A friend got upset because she found out that she wasn't in the loop for something and another friend got all worried and tried to cheer her up. When I heard that, I can't help but roll my eyes. It is not that she didn't exclude people before. And it is not like we exclude her this time on purpose. Sometimes I found out later and I have to admit that I would feel a bit upset that I got left out. There are always small groups in big group of people. It seems we always want to be in the loop. It is as if when we are in the loop, we got the approval stamp from others that they like us. Or may be we all just a bunch of control freaks who have to be on top of everything al the times. But if I don't feel attached to anybody, I won't get upset for not in the loop. There are too many groups around us. There are too many things going on. You won't be in every group. You won't know everything. In fact, you know nothing. If I don't have my hope for getting the approval stamp, I won't get disappointed if I don't get one. If I push everyone away, I don't care about their approval. I once thought I am in the loop, and turned out that I never know anything. I was just so blind about everything. After that, I could careless about anything. If I happen to know, I would know. If I got excluded, I could care less
I have a feeling that I am a bad poker player. I talked to a friend tonight and we tried to find out what each other knew about something. The whole conversation we were testing each other and tried to see who cracked first. In the end, my friend said that he knew what I knew. I was surprised to hear that cause I thought I didn't give any hints. I gave enough thought before I typed each message so I won't leak any information. But, I don't know if I am that easy to read or he is just that smart, he told me places in the conversation that I did slightly give out hint and he claimed he could probe in the right direction from there. Am I just that bad at bluffing? I thought I covered up pretty well but people can still see thru me. I thought all these years working helped me to know how to bluff. May be not a good one, but at least if I need to, shouldn't be that bad. Am I the only one not thinking when talking with people? Seem like when people tried to probe what I am hiding, they can always figure out. But I usually can't. I always keep asking until I got a definite answer. Am I just dumb? Or I just don't think? All these years that I thought I am more sneaky than my mom turned out that I am truly her daughter, just as simple minded?!
I can't believe I became the kind of people I hate, critics. Today, I talked to couple friends and my parents about the wedding last night. Being a big whiner, of course I have to complain about things. How unprepared we are. How sucky the service. How slow the food is. When I was yapping, I totally forgot, I was doing what I hate people doing most. I couldn't see how much time the wedding party spend to prepare the banquet. But instead, I picked on points that I find problem and complaint about it. I should be honour to attend my friend's wedding and share their pleasure. But I was too busy being picky. When the groom asked me how everything was last night, I just couldn't shut my mouth and whine to him. It is as if he didn't know already!! I couldn't believe I did that last night. Usually when I was the maid of honour or sisters, I would try to help out so the bride and groom won't get stressed out by all the complains. I don't know what got to me last night. Why did I complain like that! It is not helping the situation. In fact, it may stress them out more. Urgh! I hate myself! Urrrgh!
Survived thru another friend's wedding today. This time, I ain't the wedding party, but I was the MC for the dinner. From the very beginning, I wasn't sure I am up for the job. I knew I ain't very good public speaker. Back when I was in school and did my presentation, I would get nervous and would speak faster and faster and eventually no one would understand me. Though my friend kept saying I would be fine, I wasn't sure. Having two nights of insomnia, I knew I was getting nervous. It didn't hit me till when we were getting ready, we seem to miss out a whole bunch of details. I started to get very nervous. I knew I was all tense up. When we finally turned on our mike, I could hear my voice trembling. I have to breath very hard to calm myself. Some of my friends complaint to me later that night that I didn't translate enough. I didn't know how to translate some of more traditional Chinese saying. So I decide to skip it instead. But I did a major screw up. When doing the introduction for the bride and groom, I mentioned that the bride would get her CGA end of last year, but it should be this year. Anyone would think it is not a big deal, but apparently it is. Cause some of her coworkers were there and it was bad to make such a mistake. I felt so bad when the groom told me I had to correct it. Later on, when the game started, it felt smoother. At least I didn't need to do a word to word translation, and just went with the flow. I didn't have to worry about missing translating any part. I guess next time if another poor should asked me to do MC, I should have prepare more.
I felt that I got wimpier as I got older. I went to see my acupuncturist today for my ankle. I am not sure if I sprained it worse this time or I was more brave back then. It felt so much more painful. Last time when I hurt myself, I felt that I could bear the pain more. She was rubbing hard on my nerves and I could still take it. My friends who went with me were the ones screaming. But this time, when she rubbed on my skin, I have to control myself not to kick her and not to move away my legs. She could see that I can't take the pain much and used needles instead. Even with needles, I would stop her to press any further when I felt slightest sore. I remembered last time I was fearless. I didn't feel much about seeing needle pinching my skin. This time, I really wanted to move away my foot when I saw her needle coming close. I am not sure if my skin got more sensitive. Or old people are more sensitive to pain. Or it is just very very bad injury. And this time takes quite awhile to heal too. No wonder old people avoid any injury cause it takes forever to heal.
Today is a complete chaos. I went to work late (yes again, I know it is not news) and when I arrived, my email box overflowed. Support wanted a private patch released to customer for the problem that we were discussing yesterday. My manager and I were hoping we don't need to do the private patch, but apparently support was pushing for one today. And the biggest problem is, none of us know how to make the private patch. The only two people who know how to make one are on vacation. Third day into my new position and I already have this major crisis in my box. Other than jumping up and down, I don't really know what to do. Well, my coworker and I quickly look thru all the documents we can find. But they are not very helpful. Good that one of the managers who used to work on this is still around. Since my coworker went to work earlier than me and already started looking, he kept working on it while I deal with people. While he was working on that patch, QA found a major problem in the service pack they were testing. I was supposed to be involved and helped out in that project. But since I just started, I knew nothing what was going on. Once again, my coworker had to fix it up. I felt so bad that I couldn't offer more help to him and he seemed to be very overwhelmed by everything. Hopefully I am able to get myself up to speed soon.
Second day into my new position. I found that I have to re-adjust my work schedule. I have been going to work later and later cause no one really care. As long as I work my 8 hour and I am not the latest person to show up at work, my manager wouldn't yell at me. That rule doesn't apply anymore. I went to work today at my usual hour (I blame my injured ankle for extra lateness 
"To boldly go where no one has ever gone before." I am not sure if any of you are Star Trek fans. Though I am not a total geek, I did watch quite a bit of Star Trek when I was young. I kept hearing Captain Picard's voice in my head today. This is my first day after my desk moved upstairs. To those of you who don't work with me, my company separate developers (downstairs) and support (upstairs) in two floors. Upstairs is a foreign and scary place to developers. I almost never went upstairs (unless there is food). I talked to support on email-only basis (unless they came downstairs to hunt me down). Now being physically up there is a traumatic experience. It felt very weird walking around 2nd floor. I don't know most of the people in support. I have a feeling people may think I am new, but I probably have been with the company longer than any of them. And the water machine with hot water is on the other end of the floor. Everytime I walk out to get water, I felt so stressful. I avoided eye contact with people. I felt like as if I just started with this company. I am thinking may be I will bring a big water bottle so I could minimize number of times I walk across the floor. Or else I may get scared to get water and die of dehydration. My friend said it took awhile to get used to. I guess when I start working on my new position, I would work more closely with support and would feel less awkward among them.
After a short but sweet 4 months, I have to say goodbye to my window seat. At first I don't care about a window seat that much, though everybody seem to like it. For several years, I really like my dark corner where there is not sunlight or artificial light. Not until a year ago I moved closed to a window and 4 months ago I have a window seat. Just when I start to appreciate it, I have to leave it. Just when summer is coming soon and people walk by would definitely get interesting 
, I have to say goodbye. I can't tell my friends who I saw walk by. I can't stare outside to day dream when I am bored at my desk. I guess I can't really complain. It was my choice anyway. I took on a new position starting sort of this week. I have thought about it for awhile whether I should take the job. My friends told me it is a stressful and unappreciated position. It is more coordination between people and project management. If I ever want to move to management, I suppose this is a good start. And if I really don't like it, I could still turn back to technical. Though it could be stressful, I felt that I perform the best when I work under stress. Last year, I felt as if I was fooling around. I lost my enthusiastic and devotion to the job. Hopefully the change is good for me.
A friend once told me that he quitted church because he thinks people are two faced. They go to church with one face and live outside another. I start to wonder that about myself. Am I really the same person? Do I show people the very same me? Or do I wear a mask as well? If I am just showing my real self, why do I feel so tired after? Why do I feel more empty after? Is my anti-social level that high that I just can't deal with group of people anymore? Even I was talking with people, I felt that I am forcing myself to be social, to be cheerful. May be that is why I am tired. I was chatting with another friend later at night and it is as if I could talk forever. Though we are just chatting of random thing happened in our lives lately, I felt content. We might not share same point of view on some cases, but I still felt delighted. I didn't feel tired or emptied after our conversation (well, she might cause she was tired to begin with and I am not sure if I became a drag for her cause I have been bugging her a lot lately :P) I sometimes wonder if I grow too old to accept new friendship. Once you reached certain age, you became very stubborn and defensive. And you will only stick with your old friends. May be I am at that age already. Who knows?!
One got to love Murphy's Law: When anything can go wrong, it will go wrong. Life is just full of irony. When you can't walk, you always find a parking spot that is furthest from the place. I went over to a friend's place for dinner tonight. Parking around his area sucks but I have been fairly lucky finding parking around his area. The furthest I park my car is a block away from his building. But not tonight! Just when I can't walk, I can't find any closed parking spot. I have to circle around several times to find a spot that is closed enough so I don't have to torture my ankle. And I forgot sprained ankle is sensitive to elevation. So that 2 blocks going downhill, I have to go soooo slow. I met up with my friends and we went down to a Korean restaurant for dinner. We have been planning to have that lemon so-ju. Being responsible driver, we figured we would walk to the restaurant in case we got drunk. And when you plan to get drunk, the restaurant doesn't even sell that drink. When we ordered the drink, the waiter told us that they sold out. The only person who knows how to make the drink already left. Since we already ordered our food, it was too late for us to walk out the restaurant. So we had our dinner unsatisfactorily without the drink, which is the main reason we were there. After dinner when I drove home, the parkade main gate was broken. I couldn't park my car back into the parkade. Now I have to park my car on the street for the night and LIMP back to my apartment downhill! Aiii..hopefully that is enough things go wrong in one night.
My parents finally came back from their vacation and I went to pick them up tonight. The first thing I said to them is not "welcome back" but "how dare you guys didn't call for a whole week". You see, when I went for vacation, if I didn't call them after I arrived, I would got yelled at for having them worried. So I always try to call as soon as I arrived. My parents usually do the same too. But this time, they never called. At first I thought may be they need time to settle down. But after my ankle incident and I really need to talk to them, I started getting upset at them not calling. After 3 days of not hearing from them, I started searching online and see if there is any bad disaster that I didn't know of. May be I was an uncaring daughter that something bad already happen to my parents and no one could have reached me. But nothing. Today they are supposed to be back. But we never confirmed on flight no and time. Before they took off, they said they would call me to confirm. Since I haven't heard from them at all, I just looked online and verified the flight still on time. But I am not sure if they are even on that plane. I decided to just go out to the airport anyway. At this point I became very anxious that I don't know what await me in airport. Was it something bad happen in Hawaii? Did they injure themselves? Why didn't they call? Just when I ready to leave my house to airport, my mom called me. They arrived safely and were waiting for their luggage now. Then I started screaming over the phone why the heck they didn't call for a week and have me all worried. When I finally saw them in person, I can't stop whining. Apparently it was a pain to call from their hotel, so they didn't bother. I used to find it a hassle to call home when I am on vacation. Now I know how my parents feel when they got the call from me and knew that I am safe and sound.
Several observations I made during my days of handicap (though it is still not over yet). Handicap parking is there for a reason. And I really really hate those people take advantage of those parking. 
Hello? Sprained ankle is not that uncommon. What ticked me off most is some people I don't know well when saw me limping around the office and shook their head and chuckled. It is not like they showing sympathy or asking what happen. They just chuckled??!! Urgh! We are kindergarten or something? How funny is that?! My first day crawling around my house made me found this whole situation not funny at all. 
Last, I found that all the guys I met thru this incident are not bad looking. 
You may got stood up by your date, girlfriend/boyfriend, friends. But I bet you probably never got stood up by your acupuncturist. That's right. I got stood up by my acupuncturist tonight. When I sprained my ankle on Monday, I quickly called her to see if she was available that night. She said she was busy and told me she might be free the next day. But I had to call that night. Last night, when I called, she said she already booked up. Hence I asked her when she is available. She said since I preferred at night, she would see me at 8pm tonight. My friend thought I wouldn't able to drive myself back after the session and came over to pick me up. Since I haven't been to her place for awhile, I called and asked for the address. She sounded annoyed on the phone and asked if I had an appointment. I told her I did. She sounded even more upset now and told me she somehow quadable-booked herself. And I couldn't go now. I was like what! How could you do that! She said I could go at 7pm tomorrow. If I don't want, then forget it. While fully controlling my temper, I took the appointment and thought, screw you. It is not like you are the only acupuncturist around here. I remembered when I first see her, she said if I ever hurt myself again, I should immediately go see her. And now, you keep pushing me off to the next day. It has been 3 days since I hurt myself. I was so mad at her messiness and not care about patients. May be nowaday too many people go to her that she doesn't care anymore. My friends and I then drove around all the Chinese places and found if any acupuncture place still opened. It was a bit late so nothing was opened. But we found out several places that I decided to go check out tomorrow. I felt very bad that my friends ended up driving me for nothing and they had to come all the way from Richmond to Vancouver and back to Richmond. Urgh!
Once we learnt how to walk, we would not go back to crawl on the floor ever again, unless, your sprained your ankle. This morning when I woke up, the walk from my bedroom to the washroom was so painful that I almost threw up. I had to go back to my bed quickly and lay there for the pain to go away. I gave another try to put some weigh on, but it was way too painful. The hallway from my apartment to the elevator seemed a bit too far now. Even if I could walk down there somehow, there is no way I can bare the pain to walk to washroom in the office. And it would be pretty stupid to crawl around the office. I decided that I will stay home for the day. I crawled to my couch and emailed my manager that I am taking the day off. Sitting alone and not knowing how I could get myself to see a doctor while my parents away and my brother in HK, I decided to call my friends for help. I felt kind of pathetic now. I always think I am very independent. I guess lost of mobility makes me feel weak. I was almost going to call my brother to cry. And my house is low on instant food as well. I didn't stock up my food supply so I could sit at home pathetically this week. Today, I have to dig into my very last supply. Even though my friends told me to stay off some food, that is the only thing I have at home for lunch. If I have to stay home for few more days, I may die of hunger. And since I didn't prepare that I would injure myself, my house is lack of anything. I don't have even a tensor to wrap my ankle. My friend said she would bring it to me to work today, but I didn't go in. I asked a friend to drop it off to my house after work but he refused cause my house is out of his way. Only thing I have is ice, so I just kept icing my ankle the whole day. I found something I could use as walking stick so I limped my house with that. My friends were going to drive me to the acupuncturist but my acupuncturist was busy tonight. So they came to my house and dropped off some food and tensor for me. Another friend also offered to drop off tensor at my house after her games. Thank you guys. I really appreciate your help today. I do need the help and warmth you guys offered today. Thank you very much!
I swore I will never go backpacking camping ever again! It seem like everytime I plan to go backpacking with my friends, I ended up injuring my ankle. I successfully rolled my ankle tonight at ultimate, right before the weekend I am going camping. I collided with a guy and fell on the ground and rolled my ankle. Urgh! Stupid aggressive beginner! But he is kind of cute, Matthew McConaughey kind of cute, and NO! I wasn't busy looking at him and collided with him!!! 
My parents left for Hawaii today. As a good daughter, I drove them off to airport. (Come on, give me some credits, I have to wake up early! 
) Original plan was to grab breakfast and then check in. But since the driver (aka me 
) was late, my dad decided to check in first. My parents like to check in 3 hours earlier. They want to make sure everything is set and not rush. It is good this time we checked in early because apparently Harmony Airlines check-in counter is not on the US Departure side, even if you are flying to Hawaii. We had to walk all the way back to Canada (??!!) Departure side to check in. And my parents' flight was delayed for 3 hours. 
My original plan was to drop my parents off at the airport and then rushed back to church. Even though Harmony Airlines did give them $30 food vouchers for eating in airport, I can't leave them walk around airport for 3 hours. So I decided to skip church and went dim sum with them instead. 
There is a saying that you feel the loneliest when you are with people. When you are 'out of it', it doesn't matter there is a big crowd around you, you still feel lonely. You feel that you are out of place. You feel detached. I had dinner with some friends tonight and for some reason, I felt as if I don't belong there. I don't know if I am tired or moody. Or my anti-social level reached high. It is not like I don't want to go to this dinner. I was in fact looking forward to it. I don't know if it is because there are more people than I expected. I usually felt more intimidated when lots of people. I still chatted and laughed with people, but I just know myself wasn't really there. May be it was just lack of sleep. I felt that I was forcing myself to join in, to participate. I felt very detached from what was around me. I don't know what got to me. Everything is so close yet so far tonight.
I went to get my hair colored today. This is a new salon I am trying out and it is a second time I went there. My friend has been going to the stylist for awhile. When I told her I am looking for a new stylist, she recommended hers to me. I was happy with the place so far, though more expensive. But it is better to not have uneven hair with my last stylist. This time I booked for coloring my hair. Since my friend never dyed her hair before, she can't recommend a technician and the stylist said both are pretty good. I don't even know who would be my technician. So I went in, met the technician, talked a bit on what to do with my hair, then she started working. We casually chatted for a bit. She asked where I lived, and apparently she lived very close to me. She asked which high school I went and I asked her. She told me one that I knew some of my friends went. So I asked her if she knew them. And turned out she does. She mentioned a few names which I knew thru my friends. I can't believe the world is so small. It is so weird. It was a place my friend recommend and turn out I run into another friend's friend.
I never imagine it is so hard to make a reservation for dinner. It is my friend's birthday today and we were meeting up for dinner on Sunday. She already said she wanted to try the Afghan Horsemen Restaurant. The only thing left to do is for me to move my lazy ass to call and reserve a table. I finally felt like calling today. When I called in the afternoon, it was not opened. I figured it may be just a dinner place. So I waited till 5pm and called again. The guy who answered the phone said they don't open on Sunday. 
The birthday girl started to get frustrated. Finally, she decided on another place and when I called, they finally have a table for us at the time we want. Mission accomplished.
Everything doesn't work out right today! It started off with my place having a fire alarm testing. I knew about it. But got woke up at 7am by the stupid fire alarm and it kept ringing that I can't go back to sleep. And I can't do anything except to wait for the guy to show up and check make me very cranky. It has been two days in a row now. Good that it finally over. Then I don't know what go to me and I forgot to stop by Starbucks downstairs to grab my coffee. I have to find another one on my way to work instead. I sent an email last night to a bunch of people seeing if anyone interested playing for my team tonight because we lacked of people (yes again!) One friend replied with his usual witty comment on my typo in my email. And today during lunch, he has to keep saying it. I wasn't very happy about it. My email was desperate to find people willing to come out and all he could think of is to make fun of it. I was frustrated at him. Then, when we got to the restaurant, the guys teased me and made me go grab a table and kept saying I didn't grab it fast enough and criticize the table I grabbed really ticked me off. Finally they realized I was too quiet and asked if I was mad. I was! I got so fed up with their comment and I was mad! Well, for like 2 seconds. Then at the game, the team we were playing wasn't very fun team. They were all aggressive. I hate the girl I check keep running into people to try to loose me. You are not allowed to do that in ultimate! Urgh! Then when I called foul, she looked very annoyed. But you can't make me run into the people. Given that I already cranky to start with, make me even more mad! Urgh!
