So Close Yet So Far

There is a saying that you feel the loneliest when you are with people. When you are 'out of it', it doesn't matter there is a big crowd around you, you still feel lonely. You feel that you are out of place. You feel detached. I had dinner with some friends tonight and for some reason, I felt as if I don't belong there. I don't know if I am tired or moody. Or my anti-social level reached high. It is not like I don't want to go to this dinner. I was in fact looking forward to it. I don't know if it is because there are more people than I expected. I usually felt more intimidated when lots of people. I still chatted and laughed with people, but I just know myself wasn't really there. May be it was just lack of sleep. I felt that I was forcing myself to join in, to participate. I felt very detached from what was around me. I don't know what got to me. Everything is so close yet so far tonight.