Cambodia Week 4

I once again amazed how I managed to survive the crazy traffic in Phenom Penh. I rode my bike across town on Saturday w/o getting killed/injured. I am quite happy about the fact that I am still living and breathing. And all limps attached. Before I flew to Cambodia, I was told to get medical insurance to cover evacuation in case needed. One of my coworkers said I should really use that because it is once in a life time experience. I may have beat him up for jinxing me. And I am quite glad I am still in one piece.

My first stop on Saturday was to the supermarket. I don't really need to pick up any grocery (since the team centre provide my lunch and dinner most of the time) but I would like to get some snack to munch on. I also need more face cream. My skin has not been happy ever since I arrived in Cambodia. I forgot how dry it would be. My face has been flaking every day. And it is itchy and swelling and red. This supermarket I went has a lot of variety of imported good. They even have Burberry and Bulgari!! (though I wasn't sure they are real or not and I am not going to pay tons of money to find out) Since I am going to be here for one more week, I decided to go cheap. I also ran out of coffee bean in Cambodia. Stupid me just brought a small bag over and thought it was enough. I stood in the supermarket for awhile because I wasn't sure if I should just stick with the instant coffee provided by the team centre next week. But a $4 bag of 'blue mountain coffee' caught my attention and I decided to indulge back into my addiction.

Part of my Saturday afternoon I went for a massage. I have heard a lot about the blind people massageur in Cambodia and I really want to try before I left. After circling around the area twice and careful re-read the address again and again, I just couldn't find the place. To top it off, my bike decided to break on me (again!). The chain just suddenly fell off. I was trying to fix it but the pedal just doesn't work. I was hopelessly swearing and wondering what I should do. I was pretty far from the team centre. Luckily, some Cambodian guys saw my hopeless situation and waved me to the motorbike fixing shop. Well, it is not really a shop. It is a generator on the side of the street with a pan of dirty water and a group of guys hanging around playing chess. But that is what a motorbike shop is in Phenom Penh. So my arrival immediate got everybody's attention. And everybody eager trying to help (at that point I was a bit unsure how competent the people are, they seem to eager to try different thing on the bike) At last, one guy figured out the stoopid chain need some oil. And that cost me 2000 riel which is roughly US$0.50 (I kept having a feeling that I got ripped off. Last time fixing the brake cost me only 1000 riel!)

Anyway, after I circle the round about the third time, I stopped at the area most of the massage stores were and looked at the address again. At that point, one of the motordup driver came and asked if I am looking for the massage place operated by the blind people. I said yes. He then showed me a piece of paper and apparently they moved. He then led me to the new store. The place was a bit different than I expected. I am too used to the idea of people having their privacy during massage. I was a bit surprised when I walked into a room of 6 beds where there are guys and girls (not naked! everyone wear some pajama thingy) So I changed into that blue pajama and a girl came over. However, she doesn't look blind though. I wasn't sure if I once again walk into another tourist trap. Or the girl just have weak eyesight instead of completely blind. Anyway, I don't really enjoy my experience there because I wasn't very comfortable with sharing a room with 6 people. And also, the girl used very light force and I felt my back pain was still there after massaged. The good part was though, it only cost me $6. Guess it is still an experience.

My Cambodian Experience Week 1 & 2 & 3

Someone complained that my blog became too stale. And I don't know how many people still read my blog. Anyway, I didn't post anything for last...5 months because Singapore is just a very very boring place. My life goes from home, to work, then home. Whereas Cambodia is a different story.

First, I started with getting a cultural guide that tell what I need to wear and how to behave and so on and so forth. It is quite entertaining.
1. I am not supposed to wear skirt shorter than knee length. Definitely no short nor sleeveless. And no tight tshirt.
2. Pants are for causal. I should wear blouse (!!) and skirt to work. I own never of those items! Good that I found out dress pant is allowed in my work environment.
3. Never touch the opposite sex. Not even riding a bike trying to hold onto your life. Definitely bad when I always beat up the other team lead :(
4. Don't accept gift from opposite sex because you may enter in a serious relationship. I got half a bowl of instant noodle from the guard the other day and a piece of bread from another guy. I wonder how serious our relationship now is :P

Another interesting the piece of bread that the guy gave me, after I had my first bite, I found that it is full of ants. Living ants crawling madly in my bread. I wasn't very sure I should panic or it is a delicacy. Or should I politely finish eating. I decided to calmly ask the guy and he was quite amazed I wasn't screaming. And apparently my reaction entertained the guys on my team.

I inherited the bike from the team lead that I sit in for. That piece of junk broke twice on me now. While not speaking a word of Khmer, I successfully able to find fix his tires as well as his brake. Since I never saw how a tire was fixed before, I was quite amazed the whole process work. I think the kids in the shop was quite amazed to see a Chinese foreigner too. Cause we kept staring at each other :)

Other than that, nothing much happen. I worked a lot even though feel less stress. With Internet and power down every so and often, you basically have to slow down. Or you are forced to anyway. I successfully not getting myself killed over the weekend. Even though the whole time I sat behind a motorbike thinking I am going to die. The girl here sat sidesaddle on the back of motorbike. Before I came, the other team lead had a discussion whether I could follow the traditional way. I said I never try that before. So I am not sure I will be able to hanging on my life and still sit elegantly like a lady. We gave up on that idea =)

Oh, I also went to grocery shopping on my bike the other day. The supermarket was supposed to be 5 min bike ride. Having absolutely no sense of direction and not having a compass and making several wrong turn, I wasn't very sure where I am anymore. The most scary part is my balance skill isn't great and riding in the Phnom Penh traffic is a bit life threatening experience. At one point I have to ride on the "wrong" side of the road (there is not really right or wrong, it is whatever you like) because I am scared to cross 4 lanes of traffic. In the end, I did make my way by making more wrong turns :P At that point, I gave up the idea of grocery shopping and ate my instant noodle instead. :P

How Old Are You?

One thing I found weird in Asian country is people would openly ask your age. It was the weirdest and most uncomfortable thing ever if you grew up in the west. It could be a casual conversation over lunch and the other people would ask you your age. It is like the most normal thing to say as "how is the weather today". And they do expect you to give an answer without acknowledge that you feel uncomfortable. I went for a hair cut on Friday (yes, I finally can't stand my super long hair) and the stylist whom I just met asked about my age! I was like...errrr...is there a way I could dodge this question!!! According to my coworker, it is almost a must to ask about age in Cambodia. Since they address each other by their relationship, whether you are a superior, older (!!), teacher, etc. So they have to find out your age to define your relationship with them. Aii. :(

Back!!

Well, back to Asia. After 3 flights, I am finally back to Asia. And yes, suffering jet lag all over again (The time is now 5:30am) But I got myself a french press so I can make coffee at home. Hopefully I would be able to contain myself the next few days. The trip was definitely better than I expected. To start, I wasn't confident to teach people something that I only learn a month ago. Even though my boss kept saying it is fine cause I have technical background, I still think he has more confident in me than myself. Secondly, not able to test the connection before leaving because people are still working on it make me VERY nervous. And the training material, I got it the day I arrived in Denver. But thing do seem to go well. And now I am back. I sometimes wonder if my body can adjust heat that well. It was snowing in Denver on Wednesday and now it must be 30 degree. Would my body think I am torturing it? Probably.

One interesting thing I notice on my flight from Seattle to Tokyo is that there are some US army on board. Well, at first I was guessing those guys are either US army or football players. But the flight attendants asked everyone to show their passport or some id if you are in army. So that clear the question. One guy sat closed by me. The most interesting thing I found is that he doesn't eat any food on the plane. That 10 hours he brought his own food. So now I wonder if it is because of US army rule? Or airplane food is just too yucky? For me, I think after 3 flights, I tried every combination of airplane food that United has.

Real? Faux?

I got the following email yesterday. It sound very authentic and it is the bank I bank with in Canada. I emailed my bank to check on this email. I wonder if this is a real one or not.

---
Due to your recent suspect account activity, we are kindly asking you to confirm
that ONLY you manage your XXXX Banking account, and the recent money transfers were made by you.

You can confirm by logging to your account and by verifying your login details here:

[http link]

We will process your request and we will stop any payment that hasn't been made
by you.


XXXX Bank Security

Bookroom Robbery

From my training in Toronto back in March that I know OMF has a book room. And they have a list of books that I would like to get. I didn't get it back then cause I figured the Singapore office must have it too and it would save me luggage space to get it in Singapore. But one month later, I still haven't figured out where their book room is. So this time when I am in US, I figured I would go find the book room. Monday morning, book room was my first top. I told the guy who works in the book room that I am looking for some books. He asked which one. I said for sure one the title Killing Field. He then smiled and brought me to his desk. He opened his drawer and gave me that book. He told me that the cover was a bit scratch so he can't sell it. But he kept it anyway just in case. And that is the only copy he has left. And he will just give it to me. I was stunned to hear that. I was going to just get it anyway even though the cover was a bit scratched. I didn't expect it to be free. So I thank him and keep looking around. I found the other two books that I want and going to pay. Here he is again, searching thru his drawer and found me the two books both with the cover tiny scratches. Now I am even more shocked. He was happily give me those book and I felt like I robbed his book room :D But I am happy to walk out with a pile of free books.

Starbucks Guy

So after a month of hot and humid Southeast Asia, here I am back to North America again. I am running some training session in Denver. The first thing I arrived is NOT going to Starbucks. In fact, the coffee in US office is quite alright that I am surviving quite well. But I did go on the weekend. I got my usual drink, brought my book and relaxing. Suddenly a noise THUMP and the guy on the table close to me dropped his drink on the floor. It splashed everywhere. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes (I was wearing white!) but just my arm and couple drop on my face. He apologized and went to get a mop. I figured I would go the washroom to clean up. Not sure if it is safe to leave my drink around, I took it with me. While I was cleaning up, I swang and THUMP. My drink dropped at the EXACT same way the guy did and now I made a mess in the washroom. ERRRRR. So I went back out to get a mop. That guy was cleaning up the floor with a towel. I asked him for the towel and told him what happened. I was debating if I should get another drink. But being a poor missionary I figured it may not be good to get two Starbucks in one day. But that guy felt bad splashing me and bought me a drink. :) No Ray, I didn't ask for his name or phone number. :)

Warning: Cranky Coffee Addict

Almost forgot, my house-mate. It definitely is interesting to share a place with people. Especially after living by myself for 4 years. There is definitely thing I am adjusting to. Like there will be noise in the place even I didn't make any. And you have to get up earlier to fight for shower first. But it has been okay so far. At least there isn't any fight yet. And I did warn her about my morning crankiness. And she witnessed herself this morning. I concluded that she is definitely a weird person cause nobody in their right mind would be excited and enthusiastic on a Monday morning when you needed to wake up at 6am. Not even when I was teenage. In fact, Monday usually is the worst day of me. Ask my friend and he will tell you I crank him every Monday when he tried to be funny. I just had no patient. But today she was all jumpy and cheerful. I was just not in my mood talking. And I had no coffee in my system at all too. Good that she did get a clue and stayed away from me. By the end of the day, she was saying she was glad when we reached the office, there were other people in the office and I started going back to talking mood. What she didn't notice was then I had coffee in my system and I could gather myself up. I should put a warning sign in my forehead.

A Loooooooog Update

I believed that my tolerance for yucky coffee has gone up. I have been drinking the office coffee last few days and still surviving. That mainly because 1. I am extremely tired and need my caffeine. 2. The fridge in my place broke down so I ran out of milk to make coffee at home. I was going to give myself a perfect excuse to go Starbucks everyday till the fridge is fixed. BUT WHAT KIND OF STARBUCKS OPEN AT 7:30AM!!! If I get my drink at 7:30am, I will be late for work. I have to give in that idea and keep drinking yucky coffee till the fridge is fixed. Luckily the guy should come over tomorrow. But I am flying out to USA on Friday, guess at least I can have less yucky coffee next two days. Yup, that is right. I am coming back to North America after you all said bye to me a month ago. It is not my choice! If it is up to me, I wouldn't try my ability to fix jet lag again. But my boss wanted me to run the training session in USA (who knows why?! may be I am from Canada and that is closed enough to USA?) I will be in USA for 2 weeks which is good enough for me to be away from the hot weather. Now the challenge is whether I would sleep in my own training session. Hahaha! I have a feeling that my boss love the idea to torture me cause there is a very high chance I am coming back in June again. I have to wonder should I bother fixing my jet lag.

Last week was definitely interesting at work. I was in meeting for whole week. It is called blueprinting meeting. Basically the consultant presented their solution and the people from the organization found any discrepancy to their business logic. I called it interesting because it is a group of tech people meeting with non-tech people. Sometimes the conversation goes on and on and on and on. I have also see how the project manager from the consulting team and my boss works in that case. I have to say I have so much to learn from them to be called a project manager. I felt that what I did last year as like baby step. Now that the week was over, the consulting team took what was discussed in the meeting and created a blueprint document so everyone would agree on the process.

Homesick was something I didn't expect happen to me so soon. I thought I would be so busy with all the new thing that I won't miss home at all. It shocked me that two weeks in Singapore, I really hate meeting people. The office is the headquarter of the organization and there are people constantly coming in and out. I will see new faces every day when I tried to remember the old ones. I hate every bit of that. I felt like I am at a cocktail party and keep hanging out with strangers and chit chat and never get to go home. I want to just see a friendly face. I want to see friends that would just know me and what I think instead of trying to make connection. I hate every second of it. I blame curly for my anti-social mood. After working with him for so many years, I just hate people :)

I did do something over the weekend to help me de-stress. I went to play beach ultimate. It has been weeks before I finally kicked myself to ultimate. And it was fun! For sure it was hard to run on the sand and my back muscle hurt like hell the next day, but I did have fun. I met some people from local and figured out their schedule. I will try to play more pick up games when I got back from USA.

More pictures up on here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=44926&l=4d54c&id=521521186. Some people said the pictures look like I am on vacation, but I don't think anyone want to see picture of me working or staring at document, right? :)

Singapore Week 3

It has been two weeks now that I moved to Singapore. I am still not used to the weather but adjusting. I didn't do much on the weekend because I was too tired from working on the weekday. So I just went grocery shopping and chilled at home. I figured it is weekend so I indulged myself in Starbucks. And man, it is sooooo expensive! Well, may be the price for my fancy coffee could get me a nice lunch/dinner. I guess the price is more or less the same as Canada but the food here is too cheap. I guess that is the end of my Starbucks ages. :( Living with a roommate has been okay so far. May be because we both pretty much drained from work. But we do have enough room in the place to have personal space. We will see how it goes as time passed. One disappointing thing is I may stay longer in Singapore than I originally expected. The project manager now envision to have one team lead based in Singapore and that would most likely the lucky me. Honestly I am a bit disappointed and the sole purpose of taking this mission is to work in Cambodia. But I also understand he wants the two team lead to lead in separate places. I will see how thing goes.

New Place and New Found Addiction

I moved this weekend. A place was offered to me (well, to my coworker and she took me in as roommate) and we moved in this weekend. It is a HUGE house. It is very generous of my co worker's friend who is willing to let us stay for free. The only down side is the commute time now goes up to an hour. But it is free!!

Here are some pictures:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=44926&l=4d54c&id=521521186

I always know I am addicted to coffee. With nowadays I have to wait up at 6am, coffee is a must. But I also found out today that I am slightly addicted to internet. When we found out on weekend that we can't get internet at our place till we got our employment visa, there was a slight panic. It is another two weeks till we get our visa. And I am not sure how I am handling weekend without TV or internet. Today my roommate found out that we can use the copy of the temporary visa we got and apply for internet. Yay to stay connected!!!

"Rain" or Shine

I have to give myself a big round of applause that I didn't seem to suffer much jet lag. Or I should say even though I woke up at 3/4/5 am, I can still perform fairly at work. Work these days have been just reading piles and piles of documents and I haven't been sleeping at all during working hour. I am still trying to settle in but don't really have time because I am constantly working working and working. I am still trying to figure out how to get on an ultimate team. Problem is ultimate players play rain or shine. In Vancouver, it is nothing. But in Singapore, rain really mean pouring water over your head. I am not sure I like playing in that weather yet. The worse is, one minute it could be pouring water and thunder and the next minute, you see sunshine. But I think it would help me to settle in and meet some people outside of work. Last thought, I am seriously thinking I will starve myself in exchange for my coffee. I haven't been having withdrawal yet but I really really really really miss the taste of some good coffee. The instant stuff is just too awful :( Besides, starving mean I will lose weight. That could be a bonus! Hahaha!

PS. I have been too tired to take any pics. I will post some when I am not tired. Hopefully not never :)

Everything

Special Easter drama from my church.

Dying in the Heat

I kept on forgetting what it mean to be hot and humid. The moment I stepped out from Singapore airport, I suddenly remembered why I refuse to go to HK in the summer. My skin was just so sticky that I had to run to shower the moment I arrived at the guest house. Oh yeah, so I finally came to Singapore. The flight here was rather uneventful. I slept, read, slept more and eventually arrived in HK and spent a night at my brother's. The next morning I left for Singapore. Someone from the organization came and picked me up and dropped me off at the guest house. The first surprise, there is no air con in the guest house. I am so not looking forward to how I will die in the heat when the "summer" comes. The second thing, despite everything I packed with me, I forgot the most important thing, the after-bite spray. I forgot how evil and mosquito are in Asia. The moment I arrived, I bet they must have a celebration about fresh blood. I pretty much got eaten alive. The third thing is rain in Asia really mean pouring water. And I didn't realize how much I welcome the rain. Today there was pouring water in the evening. When I walked to the closest mall to grab dinner tonight, my jean were pretty much soaking wet from that 10 min walk. But the weather suddenly become bearable. Last but not least, when you live on a budget, you really think careful how you spend your money. I stood at the coffee aisle in the supermarket for a good 30 minute trying to decide if I should get some coffee mix. I already gave up my beloved Starbucks. But the coffee here was pretty awful and I am not sure I can't stand it for one more day. But I also don't know if I should spend money on coffee. In the end, I bought a S$2.4 instant mix to taste test. May be in the end I was so broke my pickyness on coffee will drop. Aii, my Starbucks :(

Shiny New Tires!

I finally got my new tires after struggling for the whole winter. I knew I need tire after sliding all over and finally need to abandon my car during the first snow last winter. But since my car service centre has tire for life warranty if I brought my car back for service, I have been waiting for them to give me my free tires. That is right. It is free! But when I brought my car in during in December, the guy said they need to check with the warranty centre because I was late for service couple times. They may void my tire for life. I was so mad when I heard that cause I don't remember anyone telling me they would void that if I am late for service. And what if I was late, if they void my free tires now, I would never go back for service and that probably will cost them more. But since they said they will call me back, I guess I will wait before yelling at people. But they never call me back. I waited and waited and no one bother calling me. And then I brought my car in again for some other thing and another guy said they would check again for my tires. And of course they never call too. So after the whole winter without proper tires for driving in the snow, I am glad the snow season finally over. And when I brought my car for service last week, the guy suddenly mention that I need new tires and they ordered for me already and they are free! I was sooo happy. Cause the service centre quoted me $200 per tires plus labour. I don't have that $1200! I am so glad everything is free now. One thing I wasn't too happy though. They were supposed to call me on Tuesday when the tires arrived. Yet again, they never did. And when I called them on Thursday, they said I need to book an appointment. I have been driving on my spare tires for more than a week. :( But oh well, free tires. :)

Support

I am truly amazed to find how much support I got ever since people knew about my leaving. I mean I always know my friends will support me, both in prayer and financially. But there are people that I don't know well. When they found out that I am leaving for mission, they would offer to be on my prayer partner list. One person I have been talking to regarding to my church's mission trip and I told him my leaving. He immediately offered to be on my prayer partner list. I am touched because I don't really know him well. Another person from church whom I almost never talked to offered to support me financially. I am so touched by all the support people show for me. May be this trip is a bit less scary now. At least I know I am not alone.

Passion

My pastor asked me to share my plan for the mission trip during sermon. I was a bit hesitated cause I still have a round of interview in Toronto and no one know if I would pass or not. And it would be extremely embarrassed if I did fail. Anyhow, I also don't want my church to be surprised when I suddenly announced I am leaving in two weeks. One thing that my pastor want me to mention is why Cambodia. I thought I wrote about that in my blog but I somehow couldn't find it. I remembered it was two years ago when I went with my friend to Cambodia for travelling. When we were having lunch around Angkor Wat, one girl walked up to us holding post card and counting them in English one by one. She was pretty cute and outspoken. So we bought a set from her. She quickly approached other tourists doing the same thing. And then we saw another little kid trying to sell the post card as well. But he was more shy and timid and he just stood beside us keep counting in a very quiet voice scarily. But since we already bought the post card, we didn't buy more from him. He tried to approach other tourists by the other girl always got to them first. So he just kept counting beside us. We tried to offer him food instead but he just kept counting. In the end we still didn't buy from him. But somehow his imagine was still in my mind. It was after that trip I know I want to go back to Cambodia to do mission work. I don't know how yet. But I just know that is my calling.

Trust

I never imagine at my age, the approval from my parents still matter that much. I thought after all these years I grew so independent making my own decision, why would I care if they don't approve of something. In fact, I still do. Hearing my mom in her tearing voice said "go do what you want and don't let us burden you" broke my heart. But yet it still gave me so much courage to move on. My uncle asked me about the organization I am going with. It was then I realized I never told my parents that too. So I sent both of them the organization website since I figured my parents would want to know too. They were pretty worried about my church in the first place because there are so many cult out there. But my dad replied and said "We didn't ask you that because we trust you." It brought me to tears seeing how my parents support in this whole process. Like my dad said, "we are the coolest parents, huh?" Yes dad, you are. :)

Do Not Worry

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? -- Matthew 6:25-27

I keep reciting this verse in my head. How come it didn't make me less scare? How am I going to survive next month? Where do I find money for mortgage? Gas? Everything? What am I going to do with the bed I am sleeping on? All the furniture? I was so worried about all the little things last night and I ended up not sleeping at all. Am I just not trust enough? I hand in my resignation letter today. But I felt more scared than ever. I felt there is a storm raging inside my head. Deep breath.

Step of Faith

Taking a step of faith. It is always easier said than done. I thought I did that already by seriously considering moving to Singapore even though I won't be making money for 1-2 years. But as if God doesn't think I trust Him enough. I felt like He is putting me thru another test again to push me more. Today I got my invitation to Toronto training course. That mean, I am on my very last round of the application process. Unless something major happened during that week, I most likely am going to Singapore. And here come the hard part. I most likely need to quit my current job BEFORE leaving for Toronto. That is the part I feel very uncomfortable now. Somehow having a "gap" between my employment make me feel extremely uncomfortable. I have never been in this situation before. Even if I did last time, I got some money from my previous company. Now I feel so vulnerable. Even if I don't starve myself, I still have tons of utility to pay. I know it is a short period of time. But somehow I feel very nervous. I know it is a step of faith. If I trust God will provide, I have to trust He will guide me thru this whole way. He led me to this far and for sure He won't abandon me now. Courage!

Difference

I finally finished the most hideous application form known to man kind. It is called Second Step ;) It took me seriously 3 days to finish it. It is the form I got from OMF after I completed the first round of interview. It asked about my relationship with God and church, my thought on OMF policies and my stands on different denominations and different practices. When I first looked at the questions, a lot of my answer was "I don't care". But when I started filling the form, my first reaction became "Oh, I don't know I can accept that. That sounds just wrong." Then I realized what I was doing and stopped to think. Do I really care that much about how we define baptism or church membership. Not really. But I am more used to how my church define those concept and anything else seems too foreign for me to accept. But those concept are just different way to interpret the doctrine. And the most important part of my faith isn't even that. Then why those tiny difference becomes so important. And would that stop me from working with people whose view is differently than me. It shouldn't be. We all believe in the same God and believe that Jesus came and die for us. That should be enough. We should not focus what we do externally, but how our heart is.

So even though the form is hideously long, it does help me to reflect a lot on the basis of my faith.

The Beginning

I applied for a mission position with OMF in Singapore/Cambodia. I somehow want to keep track of my thought during this process. This is the email I wrote to my partner partners at the very beginning.


The whole thing started off with me surfing for short term mission opportunity in Cambodia and came across a posting looking for personnel to work on an IT project in Singapore/Cambodia. Ever since I went to Cambodia two years ago, I always want to go back to help the people there. And it is a ministry that require what I do for living. I can hear God's calling so loudly that I immediately email OMF. I had an interview with their project manager in Singapore and also their National director last week. Even though I blew my interview on the technical part :P, both of them told OMF to proceed my application to the next step. So here I am, filling a bunch of forms :(

When I first saw the position, I was pretty excited. But this week reality sinks in, with all the logistics problem, I became very scared. The most scary part is I have to leave my job and not able to have an income for the period during mission. That idea freak me out. With mortgage I have and being the financial support for my family, the more I think about it, the more I lost in the idea why I would even want to move. No matter how many times I told myself that I have to trust God will provide. It is just a step of faith I have to commit. And if I know it is a calling, why it is so hard to trust God. Why when I told my congregation to not let money stop them from going on mission, it burden me so much. The more I think about it, the more scared I am.

Then my parents called me on Thursday. Their acceptance on the idea is actually the scariest of all things. I have been delaying to tell them until I passed the first step. My mom first wanted to make sure everything is okay with me. Then she said if it is something I want to do, go ahead and do it. Don't let them stop me. You can't imagine how touched and encouraged I was when I heard that. My family isn't rich and with me leaving and not working for 1-2 years, we really need to juggle thing around. And my parents are non Christian and I can't expect them to understand. But they support me anyway. I am truly encouraged by them and pick up my courage to keep going in my process.

Body Check Part 2

I finally finished complete body check and got my test result today. That inclued everything you can think of to test (5 test tubes of blood! and TB skin test and chest x-ray). I think the only thing that is missing is a CT scan. Everything seemed okay. The most exciting thing is I finally know my blood type. But it cost me $20 to do the test. :( Now I know who can save me when I need blood. Hahaha. My family doctor figured since I am doing all those blood test, I may as well do my thyroid test which is long overdued. The result comes back is confusing. Apparently my body think I have enough thyroid but my brain doesn't think so. So my doctor is going to change my medicine dose and see. I wonder if that is what makes me feel so tired lately. Could be just all the staying up late for nothing. But at least I know my health is fine-ish. :)

Blind!

This weekend I had new discovery of myself. I am blind. I am in fact so impressed with myself on how unobservant I am. We often said guys are unobservant. The guys I worked with wouldn't notice when I cut my hair from shoulder length to just covering the ear. But man, I am more impressed with myself. How often do you notice your tires? How often would you notice your tires are different? Would you notice the rear tire from the driver's side changed? How about if the tire cap become bright yellow, I bet you would notice, right? I walked out to my car Saturday morning and notice something very different. My tire cap became bright yellow. I had that instant panic that someone stole my tire cap. But when I looked more closely, I noticed it was not just the tire cap, the whole tire was smaller. It was the spare tire. Then I became more panick. Who on earth change my tire to a spare tire!! My first reaction someone broke into the garage again and thought it was funny. But when I opened my trunk, my regular tire was right there, nicely wrapped in plastic bag. I was all confused now. I took my car for service on Friday and they mentioned I needed new tires and ordered a set for me. Would it be the service people who changed my tire? But why would they do that when they were about to give me new tires? The MOST interesting part is, I was driving my car the whole Friday night without even noticing my tire is different! Not even the bright yellow cap caught my attention!

The Scariest V-Day

Tonight, while everyone is out celebrating (or forced to celebrate) Valentine's Day, I was freaking out with several friends cause we couldn't get a hold of one of our friends for couple days now. She hasn't been very responsive to any of our email and phone calls and text messages. But she has been in contact with one of the friends. But now not even that friend can get a hold of her. And last thing we heard was she was sick and that was 4 days ago. Her family didn't know where she was. So my friend and I decided to go to her place. I went there earlier and knocked for a good 10 minute but no one answered. We figured we would try again. At least may be we can get a hold of the landlord. We rang the door bell and knocked on the door and still no one answered. We finally talked to her neighbor and asked for landlord's number. We called the guy but he couldn't do anything unless we called the cop. He said may be she was out celebrating Valentine's Day with her boyfriend. That moment I wish she just having a secret boyfriend and not telling any of us. The landlord also asked if we smelled something funny. I almost broke to tear on that thought, but I did know I didn't smell anything. My friend and I sat there and debating if we should call her brother about calling the cop. We finally figured we will wait for one more friend to show up and gave some input. The wait was killing both of us. We changed our mind and went to another friend's house to wait instead. None of us know what to do still except calling her family, but we hesitated in case it was really nothing. It was then, she finally replied to my friend's email and said she was sick and just slept thru all the noise. I swear I never swear so much in one night in my life than I did last night. Part of me was so glad she is alive and part of me was so mad at her non-responsiveness. So, Happy V-Day!

Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine's Day. It is also another good day for business to rip money off people. For some reason, flower, chocolate, and dinner is a must for married/dating people. And they are also stupidly expensive during this time of the year. My brother and I always had this big business plan when we were a kid. Back in Hong Kong, dating couple usually like to stroll along the Victoria habour at night. That is like a dating activity. And on Valentine's Day, some people will carry basket of roses to sell. They will approach the couple and ask the guy to buy a rose. The guy usually wouldn't dare to say no in front of his girlfriend even though the rose is insanely expensive. And you can't really say no when a kid is selling too. So my brother and I figure it is like a sure win business plan. All we need to start is that basket of roses. We can make like $100 per rose. We will make enough money to last a year. And then come back next year for more. Of course this never happen because our parents think we were just two stupid kids. :( Happy Valentine's Day! :)

Body Check Part 1

Today I went to do a series of blood tests as part of my body check. I am actually quite familiar with blood test procedure. Because of my thyroid problem, I need to do a blood test every year. However, I was never thrilled when the nurse came close with a needle ready to poke me. Today is a bit special. Because of the number of tests I need to do, they need to take 5 tubes of blood from me compared to the regular 2 tubes. Usually I would turn away and not look at how they took the blood from me until they are done. But today it took longer than usual and I turned my head and looked. I was stunned. I was scared to see how fast my blood leaving my body and streaming into the bottle. I felt so weak all a sudden, as if my life was leaving me. I almost wanted to faint. I had to take several deep breaths to calm myself. I know. I am such a wimp. Faint after looking at my own blood for 2 seconds. But it is really scary! I am glad I never choose to be a doctor.

Breakforth

No one in the right mind would go to Edmonton in January. Well, no one except me and two other friends from my church. We went to Edmonton to attend Christian conferenced called Breakforth. I heard this first from my friend in Edmonton. Since this is one of the bigger conference in Canada and I haven't been to much, I figured it was good experience (and I got free accomoation too :P) The conference turned out to be quite well, in a different way than I expected. I was expecting it to be a revival conference and I would come out like a new person. I didn't come out as a new person, but there are some interesting speaker that gives me inspiration. I particular liked a guy named Dan Webster. His session is about leadership, especially church leadership. May be I felt a bit lost on how thing should be done lately and I am not particular like how thing is. His talk set my focus back to the ministries. Everything is about the heart. I also really like the worship part. Those worship leaders can just bring the passion from people. That is what worship really is than just singing songs. This weekend I thought I would come back having more confirmation on my decision, but instead, I got inspired in a quite different way. But I do pick up my passion to do the ministries again.