Saturday, April 02, 2005
Funeral
I just came back from Pastor Chan's funeral. It is very different than the usual Chinese funeral I attend. It is very peaceful. It is not just about mourning the person who left. But it is more like a memorial service. Though people are sad, there is laughing as well. What really touched me is that his mom was singing hymn in the service. I don't know how his mom can do that. I am sure if this happen to me, my mom won't able to hold it together. But Mrs Chan seems to be in real peace. Same for his brother. He mourned for the lost of a brother but at the same time, he seemed content that he knows his brother is in a better place. I am not sure if my brother can do that if it is my funeral. I think my family will not able to hold it altogether if I die before them. I always know if I die now, the only thing that worried me is the people I left behind. Do I spend enough time with them? Do I tell them I love them? That I am so blessed to have them as my parents and my brother and my friends?
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Death has always been fear of the living. That's the reason behind all the tears... dearly missing the one who has "passed on." I held the same admiration for Mrs. Chan when she sang the hymn to comfort others. The Lord must have given so much strength for the family during this difficult time--He is indeed Faithful even when we are faithless!
You have no need to feel pressure because others cry and you don't feel the urge? Everyone expresses his/her sorrow differently anyways :P Degree of sadness definitely cannot be equated with volume of tears!
Tell people you love them. Treasure every moment with those who you are close to. In the end, it is people who matters; it's relationships that last (however cliche this sounds--it's TRUE!). For me, I can't believe that this is the first tragedy that hits me so hard and puts life in SO MUCH perspective for myself. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away--how important it is for me to really think about my earthly calling??
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